CLAUD'S WORLD!

br>CLAUD!
20091990
CRESCENT NP!
claudcheah@hotmail.com elephant half<3
ORANGE of the half defunct banana split(:
MONGOOSE of the goose family

Thursday, December 01, 2005

YOU KNOW.

sometimes i feel so stupid.

like a moth.

let me elaborate.

a moth flies too close to the fire and burns its wing.then a while later,flies back and gets its other wing burnt.you would think tht having tht occur repeatedly,the moth will be smarter and not fly THT close anymore.but THIS stupid moth(points to self-->) just flies closer to be hurt again.hws tht analogy?a bit stupid and irrelevant but YES.so why do i tolerate them?

yes.anw,smth has gotten me super pissed off.

YOU were angry cz we put you as a reserve in the fancy drills team.you said you rather be off the team than a reserve.WHY?because of your PRIDE.tell me what is wrong with being a reserve?i dont see the other reserves complaining.i dont see them as lesser cadets either.SO WHY?moreover,you are already in the campcraft team,do you need two jobs?then you complain you have no time to study.then you dont realise YOU ASKED FOR IT.you lay the blame on others.as for why we put you as a lowly(in YOUR perception).why?thats cause you are MEDICALLY UNFIT,get it?what will we do if you faint half way?i wont say that im in a top physical condition but i do not have to be warded into hospital regularly,do i?yes.it might not be fair for me to hold this against you.i know you do not want this to happen too.but its a FACT.and in this world its facts they care about,isnt it?then i decided to give you my place in the team.i cant say i didnt mind,i ENJOY fancy drills. but YOU were unhappy.so i gave it to you.but aft that you say no,you decided that you dont want it anymore.cause you felt GUILTY.cause you felt that it wasnt fair to me.FAIR MY ASS.this world is nver fair,get it?then you make me take my position back.just cause you feel GUILTY.i LAUGH.like you even care.its always been about YOU,YOU and YOU,hasnt it?so when you want the position,we're supposed to relinquish it to you.then after that you can just say you dont want it and return it.WHY ARE YOU CALLING THE SHOTS HERE?are YOU in charge of fancy drills?

i find it SO hard to look you in the eye already.so hard to even smile at you.

feel the SUNSHINE;
4:21 AM
******